Falling Apart At The Seams.

It's definitely getting worse I'm cycling a lot more rapidly than I have ever been.
I was quite happy today, bordering on delirious at some points and yet now, how can I feel so utterly buried by my feelings of self loathing.

I fucking hate the way I am right now and I'm finished with school just about and I should be ecstatic but I still feel like my tight knit group of friends are falling apart at the seams. I love those guys with every fibre of my being, they are amazing. If we lose each other- there's no if about it! I will not let it happen. Fuck. Please don't let it happen.

A little part of me wants them to read this to realise that we are slipping away from each other gradually, I don't think I'll ever have another group of friends like them. Who I can be myself around. They always make me smile, no matter fucking what. I couldn't bear to lose them. Fucking hell I'm crying again; only because I can see it happening far too clearly. I can't write anymore.